This is my monthly column about our life, life in a triad in general, or whatever rants & raves I feel like talking about at the time.

Previous editions of this column can be found in the Monthly Columns Archives.

The Beginning

For me, entering into a Triad seemed like a perfectly natural step. It didn't always appeal to me, however. I lived in a monogamous marriage for five years that failed. I also had numerous other relationships that also failed for one reason or another. The thought of a Poly relationship never crossed my mind until long after I had met the woman I fell in love with - my soul mate. Sister Dagger and I felt a connection from the first time we ever spoke, and over time we also began to fall in love. I think that Kriek actually knew this, because it was he that suggested that we enter into our Expanded family to begin with.

As I said in our Family History, we didn't enter into this relationship lightly. It was discussed at great length, and we even had a trial living period where Sister Dagger & I lived together alone to see how things were going to be between us. It was a perfect situation for us, and we quickly realized that the Triad situation would work just as well. For us it went flawlessly, but for others it might not be so easy.

Before you decide to take the big step of entering into any type of expanded family, make sure that you examine the issue from all sides and have a fall back position should things fail. If you own a home don't go out and sell it immediately and pack up and move. Try renting it to someone else until you are absolutely positive that this is the right path for you. I put everything I owned into a storage unit and left it behind in Maine when I moved here to Maryland. This wasn't done entirely as a fall back position, but it did give me the option of returning there should things not work out.

You should also make sure that you can coexist with the other Spice before you make this decision. Just because you know that you love the one person doesn't mean that you will be able to live with everyone. Spend some time with the other Spice as well, see what kind of common interests you share aside from the wife (or husband). You will be living with this person as well, and if you make the move only to find that the two of you can't stand each other then you are no better off then you were before. Take the time to explore this new relationship from all angles before jumping in with both feet and your eyes closed. In the long run you'll be glad that you did.

~ Chias, May 5, 2005

folks have read this article.