Ask Aunt Poly is an advice column. While it is meant to offer genuine, helpful advice, Aunt Poly has no degree in this area, and is not a professional. She will offer her opinions and advice, as well as those of her staff. Please use your own best judgement when considering advice given here. Before submitting any letters to Aunt Poly, please make sure that you read the official disclaimer regarding this advice column.
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Dear Aunt Poly,
Recently my adult child has informed me that she is now engaging in a poly lifestyle.
How can I be supportive of the child I love without understanding or approving of this lifestyle?
Perplexed Parent in PA
Aunt Poly can understand your confusion and need for direction in this matter. As a parent you can love your adult child and dislike their actions and choices. It is a difficult place for a parent to be, especially when they feel that the choices their adult child makes could be harmful to them.
It has been Aunt Poly's experience that even adult children still seek approval from their parents. With this in mind, Aunt Poly suggests:
1. You should research what you think she is doing to gain a better understanding of her choice. As you may find, many people engage in the poly lifestyle in different manners. This research could open dialog with your child about how they have chosen to incorporate this new choice into their life.
2. Based on the information your research provides, take time for a careful examination of your own beliefs and re-examination of your views.
3. Engage in honest dialog with your child, being sure to state your love and support. You can love and support her without necessarily supporting her choices.
4. If all else fails and you're still having difficulty with her choices, Go out for a nice dinner and a few drinks. It's amazing how good life seems after several martinis.
Aunt Poly can be reached here, at her Polyamorous Percolations email address.