"Balancing faith and lifestyle choices". Mr. Big is one quarter of a Poly-fi quad. His column will focus on his current struggles to find balance between his chosen lifestyle and the faith he was taught to believe. Join him while he journeys the path of enlightenment.
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Are you my mother?
I’ve been close to several people who chose to find their birth families once they were an adult. The closest was probably my kid sister. My folks had fertility issues. It took them six years to have me. When my dad went to be tested, Grandpa told him it was a waste of time. “There hadn’t been a Big born that couldn’t knock up a tree stump.” Some direct quotes stick with you and turn into family legends. Dad actually credits a walk across the lava fields while stationed in Hawaii with finally having the desired effect. Deciding that a second natural birth wasn’t in the cards and not wanting a clown like me to be an only child, the folks started the adoption process. Years later around my sixth birthday, a little girl became available. Within a month, Mom found out she was pregnant of course. Now I would have two people to blame everything on where before I only had the dog, a boxer named “Bama.” Anyone who can guess which University the parents attended gets a free cup of coffee when Angel opens her coffee house.
Now don’t get to sidetracked chasing all these rabbits with me. We were talking about my kid sister. She asked my folks to help her find her birth mom when she was nineteen which they did. Now what is it about having to know where you came from? I know many people who much prefer chosen family over birth family. I mean if they gave you up for adoption, surely you’re better off than you would have been if they’d kept you. Just be thankful they didn’t take easier ways out or else you wouldn’t even be here. But for some reason, you HAVE to know who they are and why you were given up.
I think in my perfect imaginary world, this would never happen. The focus would be on the kids. Once a person becomes a parent, all individual adult rights go away. Every child would know exactly who their parents and grandparents are because they would be surrounded by them. Divorce, step parents, and so many of today’s issues would fade away in this utopia. Of course that does lean towards a one man – one woman stance on marriage. And I’m sure there are a few people somewhere in the Midwest growing up on a farm where this is exactly how life is for them. They might even consider themselves in a position to tell the rest of us how we should be doing it ourselves. And while I’m wishing in make believe here, I had better ask for world peace…. and a pony. No, better yet, a unicorn.
Some arguments have merit on both sides. The problem with seeing both sides is you will never be heard. Only people who are extremely committed to the cause (either side) are ever noticed. I believe our friend, Chias should be able to have the same relationship with Sister Dagger that Kriek has. I believe he should have all of the same legal rights. I think that their son will greatly benefit having another adult there to raise him along side his natural parents. In the real world, you take the hand you are dealt and do the best you can with it.
Maybe it’s the word “marriage”. I mean the conservatives already gave up the word “gay”. Maybe we let them have this word and use something else. Actually, you can call it what you want to. The people that matter will learn how their friends feel and what their words mean to them anyway. A little tolerance from the rest of the world would be greatly appreciated though. And now you have my two cents on the marriage debate.
It turns out that my sister has a younger half sister. Their natural mother was a teenager whose parents made her give up the baby. She’s a little crazy which makes it more obvious where my sister gets it from. Then again, who wants to hang out with normal people? Most of my family is weird. Don’t even get me started on my uncle. This one time, he picked up these two girls at a bus stop and…. Wait, Laundry Goddess, let go of my leg. No it’s a good story!... Dirty laundry? What dirty laundry?....ouch! That hurts!.....aaaawwwww, mmmmoooommmmm….
END OF COLUMN BY ORDER OF THE LAUNDRY GODDESS
LG as attorney in fact signing off for the recently injured Mr. Big
Mr. Big is a contributing writer as well as a member of this online Community. He can be contacted here or through our message board Forums.
Mr. Big; February 20, 2007
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