Love and Neediness
by Somerset

Somerset is a man in his seventies who has only recently begun to search for compatible women for open relationships. He prefers sexual variety and treasures his independence. This series, Polyamorous Possibilities, is the sequel to his Potentially Polyamorous series exploring open relationships. Both this series as well as the first one are archived for reference.

“When describing my needs in part two of Polyamorous Possibilities I mentioned the terms altruistic harmony and situation ethics and went on to define those terms. The realization of those values are what I currently view as essential ideas for an ideal state of being. In the series I also addressed ideas such as those in their relationships with polyamory: needs, independence, values, variety, intimate companions, goals, actions, lifestyle, form, ideals.

This entry to the Forum continues to discuss my experiences and recommends two sources of information that I intend to examine in some depth as I continue along the polyamory path.

Edgar Cayce, in Mysteries of the Mind, suggests: "Ideas focus our lives on results, the realization of the ideas, the end of the journey. Ideals have us focus on the process, on the journey itself. Working towards the goal is often more pleasurable than its accomplishment. Focusing on the process of doing a job, on how we obtain a goal, on the quality of the journey through life, ensures satisfaction."

In other words, he was stressing being in the process of becoming. He suggested meditation as an excellent way to create an ideal life through bringing one's best ideas into form, for example through the power of one's subconscious mind and the development of one's attitude and will.

Tim Muldoon, a Catholic theologian (linked at ) asks, "what is sex for?" and in answer discusses two approaches: a descriptive one in which he notes that sex arises out of a basic biological urge with lots of interesting ways to satisfy it, and a prescriptive one in which he suggests that human choices, including sexual ones, aim at some good which, with practice, people are able to secure effectively.

As I apply the advice offered by Cayce and Muldoon to one of my goals - to remain independent while enjoying the companionship of a variety of lovers -- I recognize that polyamory has the potential to serve my needs and thus contribute to my holistic ideal of achieving altruistic harmony of body, mind, and spirit. I differ from those authors in two respects: my approach comes from an agnostic perspective rather than a religious one and my preferred sexual orientation is polyamorous rather than monogamous.

By treating with dignity and respect all persons who come within my orbit I feel that I'll meet, sooner or later, as many compatible lovers as may be joyfully and logistically reasonable, to share with me their similar needs.


Posted on Polyamorous Percolations 30 April 2010 at 22:00 USEDT and the original nonedited text on the forum on 24 April at 15:06 USEDT