Truetalk has been writing since he was a teen, and only in the last five or so years has he taken himself seriously as a writer. He lives in the Vancouver area of BC, Canada, where he has lived for most of his life. He finished his degree in psychology at Simon Fraser University in ’95 when he started his counseling practice for individuals and couples. He recently completed his PhD in psychology and philosophy at University of Life in Black Rock City. His counseling practice though broad in a practical sense, is specialized in alternative relationships, including the various forms of polyamoury, polyfidelity, or what ever other poly-like relationship you may be working on. He has studied the human psyche for almost his entire life, and has a thorough understanding of consciousness, human psychology, and our current social structure and how we as individuals or groups function and dysfunction within our culture and general social milieu. He would love to hear any feedback from the readers of this community, answer questions or even take requests or topics to write about.
Previous editions of this column can be found in the Monthly Columns Archives.
I have been inspired to write about relationships again. It is one of the hardest things I find to write about. In my recent past I would write from my own experiences, which I like to do, but I have not been in a relationship for some time. Well not like the type I like to write about anyways, because I will remind myself again that I do have many connections and relationships, I just don’t have this kind. That is what I should do first, is try to identify this: what this relationship is—if I don’t have it now, what is it? It is love, in the most intense and full manner of expression that you can conjure or fathom. It is a connection of multiple levels, with the awareness that you have found someone, or better more like some complex conjuration of someone to share love with. In a simple way this is about love, but on a more complex level this is more than love; there is the personal and divine expression of love to another like yourself; you are no longer alone. It is the beautiful and infinite expression of an energy that in all reality ought not be expressed to another, only through logical conclusion and recognition of where love comes from. It is from the whole, the entire, the eternal and infinite—God is love, thus how can there logically be someone to receive this energy, it should not be able to be expressed and received as it comes from something that can not be incomplete. Love between beings like ours is a powerful thing, it is a paradox, it is a mystery, and we are blessed with the full on awareness of love’s existence, and even desire to experience in both giving and receiving. Note the difference there between God is love and humans loving each other, I think this means that we can love at all because first there was love, and all are loved by God no matter who they are.
This time I write not of my own experiences, but of other’s. I am privileged to be able to listen to different people explain their experiences and feelings while in love, both giving and receiving, and on multiple levels. I want to amend that last thought, because in a way we are all one, so though I hear these stories from others I am able to always relate, I feel and understand exactly what they tell me. It is often as though they are talking to me about what I am feeling at the time. Almost always, as I listen to those who come to me to talk about their pain, confusion, joy, and clarity through their expressions of love, I see that what they are experiencing is also in my own life. I can no longer say this is some kind of coincidence, it is too pervasive and powerful now to ignore. We truly are all one. If we really look, we will see that everything I see in you is in me, and vice versa. It is an amazing realization to know that we are all one, and as we experience things others are either doing the same, have done the same, will do the same, or at least similar things. I think I can conclude from this that love is universal, only its expression is personal when seen through the perceptions of time, space and feeling. Which is what I want to write about. I just had to make sure that I presented the idea first that love is universal, it is awesome, and these human presentations and experiences of love are I suspect distorted, contoured, even confused. It is the amazing thing about us, we can actually feel alone, and this for the realization and manifestation of love with another.
There is a balance between these things though, and maybe in our past we tried to focus upon one and an imbalance was created; while the others were displaced—though it is still there, but just not near you because you were only focusing and experiencing one side of this thing we call love. This discussion will be couched in the acceptance that our consciousness has grown over the past four thousand years, and today we are more aware, stronger, and freer to love and accept the balance of being mortal, in time and space with feelings and all their trappings. Today we are able to see that love is universal, but as we express it fully on all of our dimensions that we created for the expression of love with others, we will face both pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow, together and alone. There is a balanced ternary in this configuration, and we can now see all six experiences of this love: positive/negative on all three levels of existence: spirit (or consciousness and awareness), emotion (here we see the mind and feelings) and physical (the body, and all that it holds in its complex organism). I shall not get into the actual configuration of these things, except that some people see it as an equal coming together of real dimensions; others say that the mind is what happens when spirit and matter are fused into a single being. Either way, it is also a mystery, and one that we will not be facing full on here in this venue. It is an assumption, one we must make though to continue on to writing about love among people, and again I will articulate it for clarity of just what this assumption is. Human consciousness has evolved over the history of our existence, and today we are gifted with a deeper awareness (of self, community and the environment) and how love effects all of our experiences.
So on with the show then. I do not really want to get too detailed into the problems that we all seem to face. They are many different kinds and forms of issues between people, and they come from all kinds of stuff. Poor parenting, bad parenting, poor self esteem, bad decisions, poor choices of friends, bad karma, and the list goes on and on. I think these things are also pretty irrelevant, because we can learn anything, and in many cases learn again and again. Some things are harder to unlearn than others, but we are so gifted, that positive change is almost always possible. The problem may be, and is what I think here, is that we have not been taught to love. Our knowledge is directed towards other things, and in this movement away from what we are meant for, we have forgotten and distorted our ability to love. Today this is what we have for love as a result of our neglecting and forgetting about the ways of love and life. I think what I am proposing then is simply to teach and talk about love, how it manifests, how we can best show love, and receive love. As I said first though this is not just about love, there is something more here, and that is the realization that I am talking about love between beings that are both immortal and mortal, eternal and present, infinite and here. There will be two sides of this love, there must be, it just makes sense. I guess I want to just focus upon the mortal, present and here sides of love between people.
One more thing, and then I can get on this. I will also not too thoroughly explore the spiritual expression of love, as that brings us back into the infinite and immortal sides of our being, and I think I really want to stay in those parts of our existence that are most challenging: the emotional and physical expressions of love. The emotions house the pain and confusion of love among mortals, it also allows for such things as joy, pleasure, fulfillment and lose, hurt, pain, even destruction. Then the physical allows us to touch, to feel, to be with and spend time with, it also though has such things as age, here and there in time and space, missing people, longing, and being alone. These two sides are so well blended and fused that at times it is really hard to distinguish where one starts and the other takes over, their integration is complete in many regards, and this touches upon mind-body questions, which again I will be brief with. I believe it is meaningless to separate their existence in us. They are so united in our existence, that to talk of one with out the other is ridiculous. The best I can do here is refer you to another of my stories called The Birth of Emotions or Mind and Matter, where I discuss the unique, complete and powerful connection between the body and mind, how they give to each other their meaning, and we create and have meaning through each being present in our existence. As we master this awareness, we will be able to better interact with the world we live in.
Truetalk is a contributing writer as well as a member of this online Community. He can be contacted here or through our message board Forums.
Truetalk ; December 16, 2006
folks have read this article.