Truetalk has been writing since he was a teen, and only in the last five or so years has he taken himself seriously as a writer. He lives in the Vancouver area of BC, Canada, where he has lived for most of his life. He finished his degree in psychology at Simon Fraser University in ’95 when he started his counseling practice for individuals and couples. He recently completed his PhD in psychology and philosophy at University of Life in Black Rock City. His counseling practice though broad in a practical sense, is specialized in alternative relationships, including the various forms of polyamoury, polyfidelity, or what ever other poly-like relationship you may be working on. He has studied the human psyche for almost his entire life, and has a thorough understanding of consciousness, human psychology, and our current social structure and how we as individuals or groups function and dysfunction within our culture and general social milieu. He would love to hear any feedback from the readers of this community, answer questions or even take requests or topics to write about.
Previous editions of this column can be found in the Monthly Columns Archives.
Reincarnated relationships
So this month I will be talking about how we are guarding our hearts in today’s cold and cruel world. Another thought that can be added to that one is to do with how we live with and connect with people. That these connections we create seem to repeat themselves over again in a life time, similar to how we see reincarnation of beings. This is a complex thought, or vision, one that will be difficult to understand in spite of its simplicity. Thus, the idea itself is simple: the connections we create in life, in this life are repeated until we get them right. The relationships that we have as we get older are the reincarnations of the relationships we had when we were younger. This is a simple idea, yet one that is hard to accept and believe as something true and useful to take as a working part of life, your life. Also there is the question: how to bring the notion of reincarnation into poly-relationships? Thus, these are the ideas and topics that I will be tackling this month.
I will start with presenting some things I have noticed recently, and ask if you too have seen these peculiar things when you are meeting new people and getting to know them better. I have seen that the women I meet slowly become replicas or they manifest similar characteristics and experiences of the women I have been with in my past. There are patterns in this coincidence of seeing the people of my past again in my present. These patterns are the reason that I characterize them as reincarnations of past relationships, plus a few other things, which I will talk about shortly. The patterns seem to have to do with me being given the chance to do things again, but better, or right. For instance, I have had a difficult time with break ups and the women I am connected with. Either I am thinking about leaving the individual and lovely ladies I am with and struggle with this, or I have left them poorly, and we both suffer pain and loss. This creates karma, and I see that I am recreating connections and relationships which I need to deal with on a karmic level. In this venue, I have actually recently dealt with the break up karma. I have finally done it well, I still did do a break up thing, but it was done nicely, fairly and with out undue suffering and pain. I feel as though with that connection I was freed from the karma of my past mistakes. I see other relationships that I am in today which represent past connections both strong and important and small or less important. With this awareness I am able to try to live these relationships in a more healthy way. That does not always mean that I am to marry or to connect fully and intimately with each woman I meet so that I can work out my karma. Rather, I am to try to live the relationship out properly, and that will look different for each connection, and I am to be aware, alert and living beyond my own and personal ego driven needs. So the question to you is: have you ever noticed how similar this new woman in your life is to an older woman you had in your life many years ago (or if you are a woman, vice a versa)? If so, then I would say that you too are witnessing this reincarnation of past relationships.
A friend of mine said something to me, just in passing too, but which I felt was significant and powerful, and I want to talk about it, and hopefully in relation to the idea of relationship reincarnation. She said that people do not open their hearts to love and others too often, and I added to that, yes they do not, and this is a trend that has been growing over the last number of decades. Before I talk about what this may mean to people in relationships, I just want to make sure that it is understood what that means. I do not think this is some casual observation, or denial of all the connections that people do make, rather I see it as a prophecy come true. Thousands of years ago men who were close to God, who were spiritual and strong in their faith, said that in the end the hearts of men will grow cold, and love among men and women will become lost and distorted. These are the things that I see all around me every day. People talk to me, and I listen to what they say, which is that their relationships are trying, difficult, confusing and full of pain, turmoil, and hardship. The payoffs of being in an intimate relationship have become harder to see. Thus, people are becoming more and more reluctant to enter into long term love connections of intimacy. Instead people are now opting for the casual connection of sexual release, with no or little deeper connection involved. Another option that many people are moving towards is the creation of very close friendships, where many of the needs of a love relationships are answered, only the powerful and often confusing act of the sexual union are avoided. In either situation, the people are opting for incomplete connections in fear of the drama, confusion and pain that they have experienced in their long term intimate relationships. Still people are searching for that fuller and complete connection, and though it does happen, (and I say that because I just have faith in humanity) it is rare, and growing more uncommon as the older generations grow older and die out of society. The next few generations will be on a path of living solo, feeling the need to connect but not knowing how, or being too afraid and uncertain as to the consequences of creating such an open and loving relationship. Fear is dominating the psychology of society, and it manifests in a fear of each other and a distrust of love, our most basic and natural human ability.
The next topic that I want to bring into this discussion/lecture is poly-relationships.
The idea is to immerse yourself in the topic of your writing. For me, of course, that means love. Today, as in this life, that also means relationships. I asked a question earlier about what poly has to do with reincarnation. Well, if—then with poly we can live multiple lives, like multitasking on a love and relationships level, and this traverse and way in life or process has an excess in both positive and negative karma. Its living multiple lives simultaneously to speed the process of karma. I mean really, most of our karma is accumulated in connections, relationships and the energy of love fuels this movement of karma. Thus love fully, work through your karma with as much love as you can.
To focus this, because I know that this is penetrating, that this sword also cleaves to the bone, but I love you. Thus, believe that our movement towards poly is a new psychic tool for a speeder movement of karma. This can be both good news and bad. We develop most of our karma finances though the exchange of love. Thus we can easily create more karma, that kind of which is considered a burden, and this would not then serve the purpose of poly. In that scenario poly is counter productive, on the other hand if things were different then you might release karma, or create positive karma, this growing, releasing from finite energy, and creating unknown life and love potentials.
There is so much in that I need to stand back, you need to do so too. We need to process these things, come to personally understand just how easy it is to create karma, and just how much is being presented here about changing these things that have always been considered outside of our control (except for the few exceptions), and taking them into our conscious understanding and abilities. I now see love as the fuel for the creation of karma, which is life. Karma is the exhaust of life, in a way. Maybe that is too extreme, but then this exhaust exists on a psychic level, and we hardly understand its existence never mind reality. These are then tangible manifestations of the psychic realm coming into our awareness. It may be growing all around us, becoming more real and present, or we may be coming more aware of this other presence and energy, either way only with practice and awareness will any of us be able to make use of this. In this way, as we once again come back to our “reality” we are the pioneers of the psychic realm which we are now starting to become more aware of.
Truetalk is a contributing writer as well as a member of this online Community. He can be contacted here or through our message board Forums.
Truetalk ; October 21, 2007
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folks have read this article.